Some people roll their eyes at the idea of positive affirmations. As unhappy with their lives as they might be, they just don’t believe that saying sugary sweet things to themselves is going to make any difference.
Some have tried, and felt awkward so they stopped, feeling silliness. Maybe embarrassment. Maybe self-consciousness. But they didn’t work for them.
And some have managed to change something – or everything - in their lives using these sugary sweet sentences.
Where do you fit in?
Are you even aware of how loud and hateful your inner judge is?
It does sound too good to be true: repeat or listen to these simple sentences, and your life will miraculously turn for the better.
Well, it is too good to be true. It (almost) never happens.
But there’s something else to it.
We say all sorts of things to ourselves all the time, and it doesn’t make us any different – not that we notice anyhow.
But some things we say (or think) more often than others.
“I’m so dumb.”
“I’m boring / unattractive / stupid.”
“I’m a terrible parent.”
“I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve anything good.”
“I’ll never find love.”
…and so on, and so on…
Do you ever stop to notice just how quick you are to judge yourself, to talk down to the most important person in your life – you?
Would you say such things to a dear friend or to your child? No, of course not – you love them, you normally try to say to them only the words that show your love and appreciation, the words that could encourage them and give them strength ; when your friend does something really dumb, does that make you think they’re dumb – or you’re able to see that it was just that one thing, and it can happen to everyone?
Yes, you treat your loved ones with respect and with love.
So why are you being such an arrogant and ruthless critic when it comes to judging your own behavior, abilities and feelings?
When a friend is feeling down, you don’t try to beat them even more. But you keep doing that to yourself.
So, how about trying to be nicer to the person you see in the mirror?
Look, no matter how skeptical you may be, the fact stays that for as long as you keep beating yourself up, imagining only the negative outcomes, expecting the worse… as long as you insist on sticking to the thoughts that make your life miserable, nothing will change in your life.
You won’t change. And even if the world turned all pink tomorrow morning, you still wouldn’t be able to notice it. Your world would stay the same.
You’re putting so much effort to keeping it that way. So why wouldn’t you try to put the same effort to making yourself feel better , to making your world look good and making your options broader?
It’s only a matter of what you feed your mind with. Yes, that simple. Those sugary sweet sentences may just help you make that shift.
They won’t work at first. They can’t, you are too used to the negative things you’ve been saying to yourself, so your mind will need some training, some time to get accustomed to hearing the nice things.
You will resist.
And then you will resist less.
And then you’ll start accepting the possibility that there might be something to it.
Then… you will notice that your world is getting brighter, that your options aren’t as limited as you thought.
You will notice that you’re smiling more, that you no longer have the need to stick to that grumpy, unhappy and judgmental image of yourself.
And then… when you see that change is OK, and that it’s possible, you will discover that you want to expand your options even more. That’s when the magic happens – the moment you realize that you can do and be anything you want!
It’s OK. The change is good. So start feeding your mind with something better, today – OK?